Blog » Always Somebody with the Time to Love
“How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers”: Mother Theresa.
Adam is nearly two. He stretches out his hand to greet me at the door, quiet and serious, but happy to see a stranger. He gazes into my eyes, searching for a sign he can trust. His deep eyes sparkle, but the steady gaze hides ‘a knowing’ far, far older than his meagre months of life.
Adam’s life took a change when he was 15 months old, when he came into the care of an extraordinary family. He arrived withdrawn , barely able to sit, and able to eat only pureed food. He did not know how to cuddle.
Seven months on, Adam is happy and settled in his new world. He is learning to talk and toddles about confidently, breaking from his play every now and then to seek a cuddle from Janine or John or his new siblings. The couple have eight children of their own, and this close, loving family is the key to Adam’s transformation.
“It was Adam and children like him who made us decide that more could and should be done to prevent children being born into situations where so much damage could happen so early on,” says Janine. “If women can be given support from the time they become pregnant and after their babies are born, no child should have such a hard start in life. This couple are offering their home and their hearts to women considering an abortion or who feel they won’t be able to cope with a baby.
“So many women are under pressure to have an abortion. Far from it being their choice, they are pressured into it by people around them or by financial problems. Nobody should have to take the life of their baby because of money. The pain of being pushed into an abortion can remain for life.
“We started seeing a need when a friend had a mental problem and couldn’t cope. She knew she needed help and that she couldn’t look after her children, but didn’t want to have them taken away. We want women to know that they have a loving place for their children in emergencies until they are able to take over parenting again. We want people to spread the word, to notice where there is need and to tell them there is help available.We also want other families to make themselves available to support pregnant women. It’s a very lonely situation, very hush-hush, when women can’t cope with pregnancy or are considering an abortion.”
The John and Janine’s own children range in age from 21 to four, providing a ready-made family for other children on the lifestyle block that is also home to a multitude of pets, including a patient pony, dogs and a litter of chubby new puppies. John and Janine run a home based business, right at the centre of family life.
Fifteen year old Zoe taught Adam to walk by providing the motivation needed – tiny pieces of chocolate that were placed further and further away from his starting point, until he walked the length of the room – to rapturous clapping and cheering from the rest of the family. Then the encouragement started again – to show Adam there was nothing to fear about walking outside on the grass. The family’s home is a kid-paradise, with play areas, farm animals and lots of activity. The children are home schooled, so there is always someone around to play with. Always somebody with the time to love.
Other children to be taken into the warm glow of the Grant family have been quite the opposite of Adam – hyperactive and destructive. But the healing formula is the same.
Janine: “We are a big, busy, close family. Our own children are home schooled and one of my daughters has started childbirth education. All the children help with the young ones.. Adam was totally withdrawn when he arrived and he wouldn’t try anything. It was a matter of everyone taking a turn to encourage him and show him what he could do. They all connected with him in different ways. He has done well in a big family, with someone always there for him and I have big hopes for this little boy.
“There is a big gap in the system . Mother’s find they don’t know where to turn if they need support in keeping their baby.We have been shocked at NZ’s huge abortion rate and how much damage can happen to very young babies. If they know there is someone who will help them, then children can be looked after from babyhood. We offer support throughout the pregnancy and after the birth. We would also care for a baby longterm if that’s what’s needed. Janine’s plea: “Let us take care of your baby if you feel you can’t cope. If you are pregnant and are afraid you won’t be able to take care of your baby, before you choose an abortion – consider letting us help you or let us take your baby into a happy, loving environment. If you are pregnant and know your child will be born disabled, want the child to live but fear you won’t be able to cope– there is a solution. It is so much better for someone in that situation to be well supported. Our family is well supported by a very caring community and people from several churches.Our own church is willing to offer accomodation and other support. We can call out if we need any support. In the words of Mother Theresa: “How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers.”
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